A New Yesterday
by skadoo
Summary: Xena & Gabrielle meet their future in its past. Takes place in Season 5. Originally written sometime in spring of 2000 published on Lala & Netgyrl's Taven Wall. Takes place just prior to the episode "Looking Death in the Eye" and is meant to provide the explanation for a little of what occurred in subsequent episodes up to "Motherhood." Xena, Gabrielle, Eve & Joxer NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Most of the characters used herein belong in their entirety to Universal/MCA, Renaissance Pictures, and all the powers that be (TPTB). They have been used without permission and no copyright infringement is intended. Please do not copy or cite this story without express permission of the author. Thank you. I've written this story as an outlet for my X:WP obsession. There's no need to read it first however. I must admit to enjoying large parts of Season 5! And yes, I am a glutton for punishment. Why do you ask?

**Title:** A New Yesterday

**Sex:** Nah, some of us know our limitations as writers...

**Violence:** Yeah some but nothing you can't handle.

**Joxer bashing:** Well, OK... a little.

**Synopsis:** Xena and Gabrielle meet their future in its past. Takes place in Season 5. This was originally written sometime in spring of 2000. I've recently rescued this story from an old backup and thought I'd edit/revise and post on FFN.

The Amazon stood sheltered in the trees beneath a full moon shining high in the midnight-black sky. The light breeze blew the smoke of the small fire toward her and she could smell the aroma of food cooking. She could see Joxer, through the leafy branches, slowly rocking Eve to sleep.

_Tonight the child will die, and all will be as it should be..._

She wiped the dampness from her sweat-soaked brow. The girl knew she had very little time before Xena and Gabrielle returned, and must act quickly. She knew she'd never be able to take on both of them at once. Her business here must be finished before they returned. She quickly slipped down the tree and tiptoed quietly behind Joxer. He was bent over at the waist, putting the child in her basket. As he put her down, she tapped him softly on the shoulder.

"Huh? Is that you, Gabrielle?" he said as he turned around. A hard fast uppercut was his reply.

_He does have that glass jaw._ She followed the uppercut with a kick to his chest, pulling her blow so that she wouldn't do him serious damage. Joxer fell, like a dead weight, in a heap at her feet. She dragged him out of her way toward a grove of trees and reached behind it, where she'd left her belongings. She searched for a small pouch tucked away amongst her satchel and slowly sprinkled some of the contents into his mouth. His reflexes cause him to swallow

_There, that'll keep you quiet for a bit. I'm not here to kill you. Sorry Joxer, hope I didn't hurt you... too much._ She walked back to the child and peered down into the cradle. She slowly reached for her sword, drawing it out slowly in an attempt to minimize any noise.

She put the blade of the sword to the sleeping child's throat. She stopped suddenly, noticing the jewel in the pommel of the sword. _No...not with this sword._

She put the sword back in the scabbard and squatted down leaning over the cradle, unwrapping the child from her warm cocoon. She placed one hand lightly on the baby's chest and with her other hand reached for the knife tucked into the top of her boot. The child looked up into her eyes and smiled. She hesitated, and in that instant lost her only chance. A body came flying out of the darkness, hitting her with full force, knocking her knife out of her grasp and throwing her clear of the child.

Gabrielle quickly stood up and grabbed her sais where she'd left them. She couldn't see her opponent's face but could see that the girl was dressed like a young Amazon. The girl appeared to hesitate for an instant as she got to her feet, but quickly recovered and drew her sword. Gabrielle was surprised to see that the girl nearly matched each one of her strikes, blow for blow.

_Her fighting style seems familiar. Could she be from my tribe? _She and Xena had spent some time training a few of the Amazons in various fighting techniques, but Gabrielle couldn't remember which Amazon this might be. Gabrielle managed to maneuver the girl slowly away from Eve with each thrust of the sais.

A figure loomed out of the darkness, and Gabrielle stepped aside as a loud war cry broke the silence, awakening Eve from her sleep. Xena casually dropped her wet things as her foot swept out, knocking the girl into a tree. The girl smacked hard against it, biting her lip and getting the wind knocked out of her. She quickly turned as they both drew their swords almost simultaneously. The clanging of steel could be heard as they fought.

Gabrielle tried to get a look at the girl. _She does look like she's from my tribe. I recognize the Amazon clothes. This is an Amazon matter._ She clenched her sais with white knuckles as she waited for the fighting to stop.

Xena fought confidently, taking a few moments to judge her opponent's skills. _Why did the girl attack Gabrielle? _Xena knew she could easily defeat the girl although she was mildly surprised at the young Amazon's apparent ability. _She has good steel._ Xena could tell the quality of the sword by the sound the blade made as it was struck. _The sword needs to be sharpened. The girl's been taught well, but not well enough. _

Xena used her own sword to slap the Amazon's blade away and then delivered a drop kick to the girl's abdomen. The young Amazon fell backwards hard onto her rump. Gabrielle walked purposefully over to the girl, her eyes burning with fury. Before Xena could intervene, Gabrielle knelt down, pressing her sais against the girl's neck.

_I think I'll let Gabrielle handle this for now._ Xena turned and walked over to the squalling Eve, picking up the child.

"Why would you, an Amazon, attack this child?" she hissed through clenched teeth. Gabrielle's hands were shaking in fury.

A bit of blood oozed down the girl's neck where she'd been nicked by the sais. She flinched. _Kill me, please, just kill me now._ Her body seemed to ache everywhere.

Xena spun around, holding the infant in her arms. "She was trying to kill Eve!?"

"Answer me!" Gabrielle barked as she pulled the young Amazon upright to her feet. The girl was just a bit taller than Gabrielle. In reply, she angrily turned her head and glared, looking Gabrielle in the eye.

Gabrielle blanched. _I don't think I've never seen eyes such a strange shade of blue on anyone but Xena._

Xena could see Gabrielle's startled gaze in the firelight. Fury darkened Xena's features as she finally stepped between them. She shifted Eve in her arms in an attempt to comfort her. Her hand then shot out and she quickly put the nerve pinch on the captive.

"I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain; you'll be dead in thirty seconds if you don't talk. Who are you? Who sent you?" The young Amazon fell to the ground, writhing in agony, but said nothing.

"Talk or die." Seconds continued to tick away.

Gabrielle couldn't stand to watch the young girl thrash. _Something is not right. _"Xena, please. She won't speak, end this."

"Gabrielle, this isn't Tara, a lost child we can reform. You said she tried to kill Eve. We need to know who sent her." Xena tried harder to calm the infant as seconds continued to tick by.

The blond woman finally realized what had her so confused. "Her eyes, LOOK AT HER EYES!" she screamed over Eve's lusty cries.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

Xena directed a puzzled look at Gabrielle as the young Amazon gasped for air, moments away from death. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she collapsed. Xena removed the pinch and the girl took a loud raspy breath, blinking her eyes back into focus.

Xena one-handedly dragged the young Amazon over to the fire where dinner was bubbling nicely, all the while keeping her body between her child and the girl. Her puzzled look was replaced with an expressionless mask as she gazed at the young Amazon in the firelight. Her mind was trying to process what her heart already knew.

The Amazon looked up at Xena and whispered, "Don't you recognize me, Mother?"

Xena smiled coldly and crooked an eyebrow, lightly patting the infant's back in a soothing motion and said, "I only have _one _daughter."

"Yes, and _I'm_ Eve," she croaked as she raised herself up on all fours.

_That's impossible._ "She looks like you must have looked like when you fought Cortese but she could be Meg's child or...or Princess Diana or maybe Leah's daughter," argued Gabrielle. "She's lying, she _has_ to be," her voice rising in pitch with her faulty logic. The bard turned and bent down briefly to check on Joxer. She wanted to do something, anything that would take her mind away from the confusing puzzle. She wasn't ready for more complications. _What is this? Aren't the Olympian Gods hunting us enough? _

"No," said Xena calmly as she looked at Gabrielle, slowly refuting the bard's guesses. "Meg can't have children. Princess Diana's daughter would only be three summers old and Leah is a Hestian Virgin, remember? Leah didn't have any children when we met her… well, at least, none that could be old enough. But that doesn't mean this girl is… anyone we know. She could be some colossal prank from Aphrodite."

Xena turned her back on the breathless girl, stepping away from her. _But why would Aphrodite taunt us now when the other gods are trying to kill us? I don't like it. This doesn't make sense. There is no way this could happen. If not the Olympian gods, then who? _She quietly put the now-sleeping infant back into her cradle. She refused to contemplate it any further.

"Please, look at me," the girl pleaded, trying to get into the direct line of Xena's sight. She knew her quest could no longer succeed, but she painfully wanted them to acknowledge the truth before she died or returned to her own time. "We have the same eyes, the same dark hair. I even have your sword, some of Gabrielle's scrolls. The baby has a birthmark on her back, and so do I: it's the same one you have." The girl lifted up the edge of her jerkin, exposing her lower back.

"You once told me I possessed the soul of Callisto. She was reborn so you could each return what you had taken from the other. You'd killed her innocence and she'd helped to kill your son, Solan."

Gabrielle turned to look at Xena. "There's no way she could know that unless one of us told her."

Xena knelt down by the older Eve, examined the birthmark, and then picked up the girl's sword. She carefully compared her sword with that of the young Amazon. The warrior looked down the length of each blade one and tested their weight. She realized they were identical. The only difference between the two swords was that the Amazon's blade seemed to be a bit older and had recently been badly marred.

"Why do you want to kill the child? If you're who you say you are, killing her means you won't exist."

Eve looked up at her Mother and said, "For the greater good..."

Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other, momentarily stunned.

"I don't know how I got here... I don't think I can explain it, but I knew it was my chance to put things right." Warm tears coursed down Eve's face, leaving tracks in her dirt-stained face. Xena placed her hand under Eve's chin. She slowly tilted her head so she could look into her eyes.

"I can't think of any good that could be served in having her… in having you dead," Xena said firmly.

"It's all my fault," whimpered Eve. She turned her head from her mother's grasp, "I'm responsible for too many deaths. If I hadn't been born..."

Xena interrupted and impulsively hugged the girl tightly, tears starting to well up in her own eyes. "If you hadn't been born, then my world would be a much sadder place. You are one of the best things that has happened to me. You, Gabrielle, Solan..."

Eve looked up at her mother. She wanted so much to believe her. She didn't quite know this woman; _her_ mother didn't really understand her. Her mother and she were always at odds. They spent countless hours arguing.

Xena hated the look her daughter gave her now. She suspected that her relationship with Eve was identical to the one she'd had with Cyrene when she was Eve's age. She and Cyrene were always arguing. Xena had never seemed to be able to do the right thing to please her mother, always getting into trouble, never as good as her brothers…

Gabrielle took that opportunity to stand up and tend to the stew cooking slowly over the fire. _I hope I didn't let it ruin, it'd been a while since I've attempted to make something that took so long to cook. Since Eve's birth we've been too busy trying to stay ahead of things. We're usually too tired at the end of the day to bother with such complicated fare._ _I guess the presence of an almost grown up Eve means that somehow we've succeeded. Now what did she mean by deaths? Is she fighting her dark-side like Xena did?_

"Whose deaths are you responsible for?" asked Gabrielle.

Eve looked down at her feet and mumbled "_Your _death and Mother's and... my brother's and sister's."

Her body sagged in defeat. Xena rocked the young Amazon in her arms, tucking the girl's head underneath her chin. She spoke into her hair, "You'd better start from the very beginning." _I had… have... will have...? Other children… Ugh, this doesn't make sense and it makes my brain hurt._

"I, ah, uhm..." The young girl swallowed audibly.

Gabrielle grabbed Eve's hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Forget how you got here or what's going on now. Pretend it's just a story. A simple story you're telling your audience. Close your eyes and relax. How could you be responsible for our deaths if we're still here, still alive? Pretend you're a humble bard who's walked into a tavern. You're tired, hungry, thirsty, and dusty from the road. You hope you can entertain and captivate your audience and earn some money. You need to earn enough dinars to pay for your room and board. After that you'll move on. Go ahead," she urged. "Tell us a story."

Eve opened her mouth to retort and Gabrielle placed her hand over her lips, "It's just a story, okay? Only a simple story and nothing more." The blonde bard took a moment to tend to the dinner cooking over the fire.

Eve nodded briefly and took a deep breath. "Okay." _Just a story, don't worry about how I got here or what's going on. It's JUST a simple story._ She sat with her arms wrapped around her mother's midsection and her cheek resting lightly upon Xena's breastplate.

"We live in a small farmhouse."

"I actually consented to settle down and stop traveling?" muttered Xena skeptically.

Gabrielle shot a look at Xena, chiding her and willing her to be quiet. _Don't interrupt! The warrior, stop traveling? That would be remarkable._

"We settled there; you, me, Gabrielle, and her twins, when I was about five years old."

Gabrielle had stopped stirring the stew midway through Eve's statement and blurted, "_My_ twins?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 -

* * *

Xena could feel Eve's body stiffen in response to the bard's question. The young Amazon momentarily closed her eyes and then looked up at Gabrielle. "Lilla and Lyceus."

Gabrielle and Xena looked at each other and shared small smiles.

"You named him Lyceus," said Xena quietly.

Gabrielle reached out to squeeze Xena's hand. "I always said I would."

Eve choked on her words momentarily. She stood up, pulling herself out of her mother's embrace, and started pacing by the fire, no longer hearing Gabrielle. _I don't think I can stand to look at anyone when this was all my fault_. The girl was unsure how to tell them; the weight of her guilt pressed in upon her.

Eve turned to look at her mother briefly. "You know you're a real cranky patient."

Xena scowled at her while Gabrielle smirked.

"Well, you never want to do as you're told. You'd already re-injured yourself at least once because you tried to get up too soon." The girl sighed loudly, "As one of the healers in the area, you were summoned to a rock slide at Therapolis to help tend to the wounded. You usually keep a low profile; we're still hiding from the Olympian Gods."

The bard felt hopeful_. Maybe she can share with us how we managed to stay successfully hidden. How did we do it? We did something right. Guess traveling with Joxer did help confuse the issue. But where did he go? Eve hasn't mentioned him yet._

"It was during your rescue of a young child that you were caught in the second rock slide. You suffered three cracked ribs as well as two broken legs. Ya know, you've been teaching us all a little of the healer's arts." Eve's words started coming out in a rush as she continued her story.

Xena narrowed her eyes at the young Amazon. _Is this where you tell me you've done something you shouldn't have?_

"Anyway, it was a few weeks after that when I snuck out and rode Argo out to meet Darius." _You never let me do anything. It's always more battle drills. I used to think - what's the point in staying hidden if the farm is just a prison?_ "He'd invited me to… um, ah, go hunting and fishing with him and his friends." _Well, with just him, but I didn't find that out until later. _"I didn't think you'd let me go with him... neither of you ever really liked him." _Not since that day you found us kissing behind the barn. _

_She's babbling, _thought the bard. _Why?_

"I thought when I came home with fresh fish and game, I would be forgiven. Besides, Mom was feeling better. And I was really tired of always having the tag-a-longs at my heels. This was a chance to spend some time with my friends without having to entertain the twins." _They we're always dogging my heels. I could almost never get away. Wish I hadn't that time._

"Is there a reason we didn't like him?" Xena interrupted flatly. She wasn't sure, but there was something that struck her as a bit off. _Why won't she look at me?_

"Yes, I mean... no, I mean. I don't know," said Eve, stumbling across her words as she dried her sweaty hands on her tunic. "Anyway, I got up just before dawn to meet him. I took the sword and your chakram to use when we went..." Eve swallowed hard, "… hunting." Eve paused and bit her lip.

Xena saw what she thought looked like a blush spread across the girl's face.

"Ah, Gabrielle, do we have a skin filled with water? I'm thirsty... all of this… um... talking."

The bard handed her the waterskin. "Did you catch anything at the lake?" she asked, trying to defuse the visible tension that hung in the air. The blonde smiled at the obvious similarities between mother and daughter. _They both love to fish, both seem uncomfortable talking, both..._ Suddenly, a bright flash seemed to go off in her brain and she understood the tension. _S__he may look like her mother but she hasn't gained the life lessons and skills that Xena picked up the hard way. _

Eve continued to say nothing and tried to casually drink the cool water. Xena stood up, walked over to the girl, and plucked the waterskin out of Eve's hands.

Gabrielle recognized this side of Xena. _I__think I'd better tend to the stew._ She took it off the fire and adjusted the spices. It just needed to sit for a bit and then they could eat.

"His friends didn't show up, did they? You didn't realize that when he'd said hunting, he'd meant that you'd be the game." _Oh, and I thought I had years before I had to deal with any of that nonsense. _

Eve's wide eyes looked up at Xena, wildly trying to figure out how her mother could know. _Does she realize that he and I… she knows, she always knows everything. _She continued to look into her mother's face as Xena arched an eyebrow at her. This time it was unmistakable: Eve was blushing.

_She could still feel his hot breath as he nuzzled her ear. She found it wonderfully distracting. Eve had been overjoyed when Darius had explained that the others couldn't make it. They'd hiked for what seemed like hours, talking comfortably about this, that, and nothing in particular. She'd only been temporarily surprised when he kissed her and slipped his hand underneath her tunic. She quickly overcame her nervousness and kissed him back. _I knew exactly what was going to happen next. You don't grow up on a farm without finding some things out. I just didn't want to think about it 'cause I knew I'd chicken out.

Xena closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, trying to hold her temper in check. _She's transparent. Guess she doesn't know that she broadcasts each thought so loudly she might as well be screaming it. I'm sure I don't want to know all of the gory details. At least, as a young girl, I was totally obsessed with fishing... well, okay, not completely...of course; most of everyone was intimidated by my brothers. I was ignorant…and I guess, so was she: no Cortese to force her to grow up too soon, no tragedy until now and we probably kept her shielded._

She'd always wondered why her mother encouraged her to go fishing so often with her brothers, Toris and Lyceus, and now she knew. It wasn't until she'd become a warlord in her own right that she'd discovered "other joys." Her mother had intended to keep her too busy to think about sex. Cyrene had been moderately successful. Xena felt almost ill. She would have preferred some other reason for her daughter's discomfort. She hadn't fancied the possibility of being the mother of a young pregnant Amazon quite so soon… or ever, for that matter. _Could she already be on the way to making me a grandmother so shortly after her own birth? Ow, my head! I don't think I want to dwell on that: I'll know soon enough. Apparently I kept her too sheltered. Maybe we taught her fighting techniques, yes, but no other useful skills that come from actually doing things for yourself. I can't be angry, not really, not when it was I who really blew it. What kind of mother was I? What kind of mother am I now? _She suspected she wouldn't like the answer. _Just gimme a chance, kid; I can do better. I won't make the same mistakes a second time. This time I'll make a whole new set of 'em. _

"If I hadn't been doing that with him… and if I hadn't left you defenseless; if I hadn't taken Argo or had just obeyed you and stayed home…you'd all be alive." _If I hadn't been so stupid… so selfish._ "When I came over that hill, I was surprised at how silent it was. Argo kept bucking. I wasn't really sure why. Usually when the twins are around, it's never calm. But it was so quiet, so still..."

The warrior princess had had just about enough. "Every other word you say is I. Eve, you're not Atlas, the world does not rest on your shoulders!"

Eve turned to face her mother again. _Let me own this._ "You had no weapons when they attacked, and you were still bedridden. With your injuries, there was no way you could have adequately defended yourself. I should have been there. I might as well have struck those blows that killed all of you. It was all my fault."

Gabrielle interrupted, walking closer to the girl, "Whoa, you don't know that. I've seen your mother take on warlords armed with a cartload of fish. She took on the whole Persian Army once and won, saving me in the process. There's no telling what really happened. You said she'd re-injured herself, so she was weak."

The young Amazon wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't know, it doesn't… it didn't make any sense. It still doesn't." She turned to look at Gabrielle. "You were there too but you might have been protecting the twins. I never thought anyone could take either one of you unawares. I should have died with you there. Yet instead, I ended up here a few months later without explanation or warning. All I know is that the unthinkable happened, you died in the middle of that courtyard."

Gabrielle felt calm, "It's not the first time we've died together."

"Yeah, but it won't be the last," guessed Xena.

"There was blood everywhere." Eve's eyes grew wide as she saw the scene in her mind's eye and slowly sank to the ground near the fire. "Now do you understand why I felt the baby had to die? I'm responsible for your deaths as well as the deaths of Lilla and Lyceus." Her voice grew louder as she pleaded, "You can't tell me that the world would be better off with both of you dead and me alive. With the infant dead, I would never exist. All of you would still be alive and...I wouldn't have this guilt."

Both women walked over and took turns trying to comfort the young Amazon. The girl needed the warmth of their presence to counteract what was, to her, a horrible waking nightmare.

Warm tears slid down Gabrielle's face as she cried silently. _Odd, I grieve for my dead children who have not even been born. But also for Eve who wishes she'd never existed_. _She doesn't yet understand how much we love her._

Xena impulsively decided to get the baby and place her in her daughter's arms.

Eve looked a little startled and held the child rather stiffly for a moment.

"This is the child you were trying to kill. Tell us again why she has to die? She isn't evil, she's you," observed Gabrielle.

The reality of it started to sink into Eve's consciousness. _But_ s_hould we both live? Do I deserve to? Will whatever sent me here send me back? I hope not; there's nothing left for me there. I could stay here with them._

Gabrielle wondered at the inordinate amount of guilt the young Amazon seemed to carry. _I guess it's a function of a child's natural arrogance that the whole world must revolve around them. They don't pause to think that if it were true then they'd responsible for not only all that is good but also all that is bad in their little universe. That's more than anyone can handle, child or adult._ The bard wiped her face with her left hand while maintaining the other wrapped around Eve. "Your solution was drastic and unnecessary. You could have just settled on warning us."

Eve looked startled, "And take the chance that whatever sent me here would suddenly send me back before I could fix things?" Eve almost whispered, "I couldn't take the risk of letting you die without trying to stop it."

Xena tried to reassure her, "It doesn't matter. Now, it won't happen. We won't die in that attack. No need to waste time pondering what really happened." _Or what god sent you back. "_We're here, you're here and you will be for a long time."

Eve looked up at her, a bit confused.

"You've warned us. There is no way those events could happen the exact same way a second time. We won't let them and you won't either."

Gabrielle smiled, "Those horrible experiences will become nightmares you had only in the land of Morpheus. So you shouldn't feel guilty anymore; you've saved us. You've accomplished your goal. We won't die in that courtyard. And you didn't have to kill your infant self to do it."

Eve looked up at them and for the first time, the tension seemed to slide off her features, de-emphasizing her resemblance to her Mother by making her look younger. She no longer looked so downhearted.

The baby started to fuss so Xena took her from Eve and started feeding her.

"That's odd," said Eve.

"It's a natural thing," snorted her mother.

"Yes, but... I mean its weird watching her, ah, watching me when I'm sitting right here. I don't think I've quite gotten the hang of this time travel business. I mean, I'm me and she's me. How can we both be… me?"

Eve leaned over and let the baby grasp one of her fingers in her tiny fist. "Hey, she's..." Eve smiled broadly. "I mean… I've got a good grip!"

Xena beamed over them and set aside the momentary confusion. _Am I supposed to call them both Eve? We'll have to sort this out. Of course, this means I now have two Eves to protect._ _Maybe that's what ushers in the Twilight?_ She found the thought of having to protect both Eves both exhilarating and frightening.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-

Eve grew somber again as she continued her story.

"I returned to the Amazons to let them know that the Amazon Queen was dead." The girl inhaled sharply. "I couldn't even think of taking up as Queen. I gave Tessa my right of caste. She agreed to serve as my regent. They urged me to undergo the purification rite. But after days in the sweat lodge, I still hadn't been able to come to terms with my guilt."

"Yeah, it didn't help me much either. I couldn't get over my guilt no matter how hard I tried," said Gabrielle.

Eve was dumbfounded. _Why would she have guilt? Over what? She's so sweet. _After a moment she asked, "What did help?"

"A short stay in Illusia," explained Gabrielle.

The young Amazon was intrigued. "You've never told me of that place. Is it far? Can you take me there?"

The bard took the infant and placed her in her basket as Xena re-adjusted her leathers. The women turned to look at each other and agreed to tell Eve about their respective battles with guilt.

Eve was surprised to hear of a time when they'd wanted to kill each other. It was inconceivable that they could ever hate one another that way, not after what she'd witnessed between them. _They always seemed so happy together. If anyone else told me this, I would insist they were lying._ The Gabby drag sounded kind of painful and she found it hard to look at them as they shared the details of their ordeal. She'd always known she'd had an older brother and that he'd died but not much more. It always seemed like such a painful topic for them. She'd never pried. _I should have asked Yaya about it when I had the chance_.

Xena leaned over to Eve, "We eventually forgave each other. But in some ways, the hardest part was learning to forgive ourselves."

"How long did you stay with our tribe?" prompted Gabrielle.

The girl tried to remember, "I stayed about four months. I don't remember the time well. I'm not even sure how I got from the farm to the Amazons. I'm not sure if I built funeral pyres or even how I told them about..." Eve gasped again in remembered pain. "That time is all a bit of a blur."

Both women nodded, recalling the haze brought on by their own intense grief.

"Tessa wanted me to take my rightful place as an Amazon. We've spent nearly every summer with them since my sixth year. Lyceus spent his summers with Tyldus and the rest of the Centaurs. Tessa thought that in time I might govern, but the tribe is in better hands with her."

Eve looked down at her feet and clenched her teeth, whispering. "I never intended to live that long." She pushed her palms into her eyes and stated emphatically, "If I hadn't ended up here, I would have committed suicide. And to Hades with my destiny." She sounded bitter. "All of this stuff about my causing the Twilight of the Gods... I've gotten so tired of hearing about it as well as all of the sword drills and practice since I was small. How am I supposed to bring it all about anyway? I'm just some stupid kid. I don't have many skills or know any other gods or… or anything useful!"

Gabrielle grabbed the young girl's hands in her own. "Eve, I know it sounds like some kind of a curse but it is your destiny. It's not some kind of game or punishment."

Xena ran her fingers though Eve's hair in a loving gesture and cradled the girl's face in her hands. "I use to think that destiny was something we made, something we directed. I still think that to some degree, but trust me there are some things you just can't run away from. We were just trying to keep you safe, even if I realize now that we might have forgotten some things in the process_._ Xena paused for a moment. _Before we've done them?_ And then motioned to the girl to continue her story before the contemplation of time travel made her head explode with pain.

The young Amazon started pacing again before continuing, "You taught me Lao Ma's meditation techniques. I've always had trouble stilling my mind. I tried several times to practice them. I tried to imagine nothing, to want nothing, but I found myself wanting to _be _nothing. I thought I might be able to eventually harness that power but I was wrong. _Who was I kidding?_ Finally, one day, I grabbed some of my things and walked out of the village. I saw what I thought was a dark hole at the edge of the woods. As I approached it, I was sucked in and it closed behind me. It wasn't very long before I encountered you and I followed for almost a day at a short distance."

Xena stated with alarm, "I never sensed you behind me."

"Maybe you did, but you also sensed Eve in her basket, so maybe that's why you didn't pick up on our little shadow over there," said Gabrielle, pointing at Eve. Perhaps it was Lao Ma who sent her back to us. Just as Solan sent us to Illusia."

Eve frowned, "Yeah, maybe. But, we'll never really be sure.

The warrior wasn't sure she wanted to discuss who sent Eve through time in front of the teenager just yet. "Well, the little princess here has had her dinner, let's say we have ours. Okay?"

Gabrielle started dishing out the bowls of stew as Xena decided to check on Joxer before she ate. Eve reached for the offered bowl greedily, eager to dig in. She had a thought and stopped with her spoon in mid-air.

"Ah...?"

"Hmrph?" said Gabrielle with her mouth full.

"Neither Mom nor Joxer helped with cooking this stew, right?"

Gabrielle let out a chortle, spewing out bits of food. _Yikes, glad Xena wasn't sitting across from me just now. _She smiled as she wiped her face with a bit of cloth.

"No, I'm not foolish or desperate enough to eat their cooking."

Xena shot her a playful dirty look from a few feet away, but wasn't really offended.

Happy with the answer, Eve ate rapidly. "This is good, better than Amazon cooking."

"Wait, I am an Amazon! And I'm a great cook." Gabrielle laughed. She noticed the girl's hearty appetite. _Wow, I'm not sure she's pausing to chew; is she swallowing that whole? When's the last time she had a meal?_

Xena finished walking across to where Joxer lay, surprised he was still unconscious. _How hard did she hit him?_ She felt mildly guilty that she'd waited all of this time before she'd even thought of him.

Joxer was a good friend, and when she'd invited him to travel with them, she'd hoped he'd help them 'hide in plain sight.' Everyone was looking for two women and a child, but no one was looking for a young married couple with a child and a spinster sister. Well, they hadn't tried that elaborate story more than once, but they did continue to travel together most of the time now. But sometimes she had to keep herself in check, like when he made more work for the bard or went tripping through their campsite, alerting everyone within hearing distance of their presence. _I guess grace is not something you can teach; I do not possess Gabrielle's patience._

Joxer let out a loud snore and stirred a bit, yet didn't wake up.

The warrior princess knelt down to briefly examine him. Then she stopped to sniff his breath. She chuckled to herself. _Poor Joxer, he's gonna feel horrible in the morning_.

Gabrielle called out. "Shouldn't we try to wake him or something?"

Xena stated, "He should be okay. I'd say Eve gave him a little something to help him sleep."

The girl grunted in the affirmative.

"She probably took it from the Amazons. It won't hurt him, but it was probably a bit too much." The warrior smiled mischievously. "He's going to have the strangest dreams."

Eve started to tear into her second helping as Xena returned to the fire to pick up her bowl. _And I questioned the need to cook so much stew. Of course, we don't have to feed Joxer yet._

After dinner, Gabrielle started to tidy up camp and noticed Eve and Xena sitting lazily by the fire. She walked over, thrusting some dishes and things at each of them. "We all have chores here."

Xena opened her mouth to protest, but Gabrielle interrupted.

"I mean both of you! No arguments. Get!"

Eve said playfully, "Race you to the river!" and ran off before her mother could answer.

The warrior smiled broadly, tucked the dishes snugly about her armor, and proceeded to race her daughter to the water.

While they were gone and the baby was quiet, the bard decided to have a look at some of the scrolls and things in Eve's bag. _She said they belong to me so technically I'm not snooping._ She pulled out a journal and carefully opened it. It was scorched, marked from the evidence of a fire. She started reading the first legible entry. _From the date it looks like Eve is five years old when this takes place... Huh! But if we know the future, have we already altered it so it doesn't exist?_

They returned a short time later. Gabrielle could hear good-natured arguing and teasing.

"Gabrielle, it's not fair, she flipped all the way there! That's got to be cheating. It's not a proper race," the young Amazon whined.

"Sorry, honey, but you challenged her. You should have set the ground rules."

Eve grumbled. "Yeah, well… next time."

She smiled, all annoyance gone, as both Gabrielle and Xena alternately ruffled her hair. They finished their evening ritual and sat by the fire.

The bard asked, "How about a story?"

Eve's eyes lit up. "Yeah, I haven't heard one of your stories in years."

The blonde eyed her quizzically, "Why not? Have I stopped telling them?" _I never thought I could get tired of telling stories, even if I couldn't do it publicly._

Eve hung her head in embarrassment. "No." _Nobody else had a bard for a Mimi. I wanted to be ordinary like all my friends, not special, and certainly not different. _She toed the dirt on the ground with her foot, lazily making a pattern. "It was just that, after a while, I thought I was too grown up to sit and listen to Mimi's stories anymore. Now, I really miss hearing them."

Xena was confused.

"Who's Mimi?" asked Gabrielle.

"It's what I used to call you when I was little. It got too confusing to call you both Mom. When something happened and I called for Mom, I was never sure who would come first and I wanted to know who was gonna come running when I called. I got frustrated, so eventually, I christened you Mimi. But in the last few years, I started calling you Gabrielle." Eve looked chagrined, "You didn't seem to mind. I guess I wanted to feel more grown up." She looked up at her shyly and asked, "Can I start calling you Mimi again?"

The bard's eyes watered in happy surprise. "Sure." She reached over and impulsively hugged Eve.

Xena felt overjoyed with Eve's new revelation. _I'm so happy to see they developed a mother/daughter bond as well. This is what I want for them. Nice to know they get there. Given what Eve's said earlier, her bond with Gabrielle is probably better than I ever hoped it could be. _

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

_Why did we wait so long to discuss it? I guess, when it comes to some things, all of them dealing with the bard, I'm not nearly as brave as I look._ Xena watched as Gabrielle read to Eve and let the sound of her soothing voice comfort her as she remembered.

_**"Forgive me, Gabrielle."**_

_**"Forgive what?" she asked, as she twisted about, looking behind her.**_

_**You didn't lose my frying pan, did you?" Gabrielle chuckled and teased. "By the gods, Xena! I just don't know what I'm going to do with you. You'd think a mighty warrior princess could wash a pan and then take a bath without losing the pan. Really, I think…" **_

_**Xena broke in, "No, forgive me... for Hope." **_

_**Gabrielle turned back around. Talk of her daughter, Hope, made her remember all that came after. She especially remembered Solan's death and her part in it. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked out into the distance. "We forgave each other in Illusia and you forgave me again after I left the Temple of Mnemosyne. But, if anyone still needs forgiveness, it's me." **_

_**"No," argued Xena as she crouched down behind her, putting a hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. "I'm sorry for not truly remembering what a mother feels for her child. I thought I remembered, but I was never a real mother to Solan; I couldn't afford to be and I couldn't afford to really love him then. But with Eve's birth, I realized the impossible situation I put you in when I said Hope had to be destroyed. And I just wanted you to know that."**_

_It took me much too long to say those words; I waited until after Eve was born. We may have forgiven each other after going through Illusia, but things like this aren't dealt with once, never to be visited again. Sometimes, forgiveness is a choice you make anew every day. _

_**The first time Gabrielle had said, "I'll love her like my own," it had earned the blonde a fierce bear hug and a load of hormone-induced tears from the warrior princess. **_

_The gods know I didn't help much with Hope but that was a bit different. The child set off all of my danger signals almost from the moment of her conception. I was too busy managing my own growing panic, trying to figure out why I was so spooked. I spent too little time comforting her when she needed me the most. _

_**"There were a lot of similarities between our pregnancies with Hope and Eve but… I felt the difference between them. I felt a goodness with Solan. It's why I gave him up, to protect him from me, to try to keep him safe."**_

_**"I think with Hope…" Gabrielle whispered, "I did feel her true nature."**_

_**Xena looked up at her, stunned. **_

_**"I just couldn't admit it. I couldn't kill her and I couldn't let you do it either. When we found her outside of the centaur's camp, I thought you were wrong. I was sure there was goodness within her, there had to be. That any child of mine… But I was fooling myself. I thought I could step back into her life and raise her, but now I don't think she had any innate goodness. I wanted to be her mother. I never thought she would kill him. Xena, if I had known, I never would have trusted her, loved her. And maybe Solan would still be alive."**_

_**Xena shushed Gabrielle as the blonde started weeping. The warrior fiercely hugged her and stated emphatically, "It was Dahok's way of protecting his child and making sure she would live to carry out his plans. He must have anticipated that one of us might understand what she was and try to hurt her. So he made sure you'd protect her at all costs. It would explain a lot of what happened later. Besides, Callisto was there too, remember? I was lucky Solan survived my past for as long as he did." **_

Eve helped arrange the bed rolls around the fire and then lay down. Both Xena and Gabrielle sat quietly snuggling by the fire as they waited for the children to drift off. Joxer moaned occasionally in his sleep. He was now having odd erotic dreams that involved giant fruit.

"Who do you think sent her back to us?" wondered the bard.

"I'm not sure we'll ever know, but I don't have a good feeling about this."

"Why?"

"She was planning to kill her infant self. Do you think Solan or Lao Ma would have let her plan that? I doubt that would be their intent," explained Xena.

Gabrielle added, "Well, we did stop her."

The warrior princess acknowledged the point with a wave of her hand. "Okay. But it doesn't feel right." The blonde huffed. "I know I'm being vague, but I'm not sure if I can totally make sense of everything yet."

"What about Aphrodite? asked Gabrielle.

Xena snorted. _That pink clad, bubble-headed…_

The blonde interrupted the warrior's thoughts. "I know you find her annoying sometimes, but that's because you're tall, dark and deadly."

She smiled up at Xena and noticed her smirking. "And, I think she wears too much pink for your tastes." Serious once more, she continued, "It's possible that Aphrodite was trying to do something good and chose to send her back to us, but wasn't able to prevent the massacre or..."

Xena raised an eyebrow in skepticism. Before she could expound on her exact opinion of the Goddess of Love, Gabrielle continued.

"Wait, hear me out. I think we have a special place in her heart. But, ya know, she wouldn't have thought to hang around and watch over Eve, or maybe she wasn't able to." The bard paused and then stated in awe, "Could our older Eve be a harbinger for the Twilight of the Gods?"

It was the warrior's turn to pause for a moment. "I dunno. I hope not; I'm not sure I'm ready for it. But I think whoever brought her back might not be exactly on our side."

"Nor be one of our biggest fans?" affirmed Gabrielle. "Could it have been another set of gods?

"Another set of gods?" echoed Xena, not quite following where the bard was going.

"Well, maybe the Norse Gods or the Gods of the East, or…?"

"As a bid to take over or something? I'm not clear, but we need to get ahead of this prophesy business, and I'm just not sure how to do that yet," Xena stated apprehensively.

==O==

The next morning, Gabrielle was hard to awaken, mumbling, "Just a little longer 'kay?" She didn't get a chance to sleep much more because both Xena and Eve proceeded to tickle her into alertness.

"Hey, cut it out." She snorted. "No fair: there are two of you, I'm outnumbered!" Gabrielle squirmed in mock indignation, giggling madly. She retaliated by grabbing Eve by her waistband and flipping her over into her lap.

By mutual consent, Xena stopped tickling Gabrielle and joined Gabrielle in tickling Eve. The loud chortles, snorts, and protests finally woke Joxer.

He awoke with a start and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"What's goin' on? Gabby? Xena? Who's the Amazon?" He eyed her appreciatively.

The girls stopped long enough to answer him. Gabrielle pulled herself out of the pile and walked over to Joxer.

"Well, you've been asleep for awhile. Ah, this… is Eve." She shrugged and pointed toward the teenager, who was still trying to catch her breath.

Joxer scratched his head and opened his eyes wide in confusion. He gasped incredulously, "What happened? How many years have I been asleep?"

He was puzzled as the three women started laughing again.

==O==

Later, Xena sat by the fire's edge, sharpening her sword with a whetstone. She could see that the bard appeared preoccupied, but wasn't really sure why. Gabrielle lay on her stomach and nervously worked on a scroll, stopping every so often to fret and nibble on the end of her quill as she studied what she had written. Both women watched Joxer and Eve play.

Xena said playfully, "They're just like two big kids out there. You'd think, after a long day, they'd both be getting ready to crawl into a bed roll."

Gabrielle sat up and looked wistfully into the fire, "Kids... yeah. Wonder if I'll ever have any others?"

Xena turned to look at her patiently and waited for the bard to finish, unwilling to change the subject.

"You've read a bit of that journal. I mean, things have changed, our future won't be the same… maybe we won't die in the courtyard, and maybe I won't have the twins. Xena, I hadn't realized how much I wanted another child until you had Eve. And, well… she should eventually have a sibling. I know I loved growing up with Lilla. Well, when we weren't screaming or arguing or fighting with each other." The bard grinned.

==O==

Gabrielle noticed that Eve seemed to be a bit clingy with them. She seemed to have to sit near her or Xena when they stopped for breaks, to need to touch them in some way, to need their almost constant presence. _Well, I guess I'd be clingy too if I thought my parents were dead but then encountered them very much alive. Even if it is in a different time, but this is her reality now. We just have to make her understand._

Gabrielle led the horses as she walked behind Xena. Joxer brought up the rear with Eve, who was holding the baby.

At the rustle behind her, the warrior princess whirled around. She drew her sword, running towards her daughters and shouting instructions. "Joxer, Eve take cover. Gabrielle…"

Eve turned and tossed the infant to her mother.

"What are you doing?" Xena screamed. She had no choice but to drop her sword and make a lunge to catch the baby. Xena landed heavily on the ground as she made her catch, causing the baby to scream.

Simultaneously, Gabrielle dropped the horse's reins and retrieved her sais as she ran to help.

Meanwhile, Eve used her sword to strike at the unlucky bandit who'd come up behind them.

The bard yelled, "EVE! NO!" _She always broadcasts that move from her left._

Gabrielle arrived just in time to catch the mortally wounded girl as she fell. The weight of the girl carried them both to the ground.

Surprising himself, Joxer leapt over their fallen bodies and stabbed the man before Gabrielle could be hit with a well-aimed swing. Warm blood oozed over his hands; _guess it is easier to kill the second time,_ thought Joxer before he fainted.

Xena stumbled over to the fallen body of the young Amazon. She gathered her body into her arms, rocking back and forth. She looked down at her daughter with tearful eyes and stroked her hair, "Eve, honey, it's gonna be all right. I'm here now. I'm alive and okay, just like you wanted. I promise you it'll be okay,"

The ghostly sound of laughter could be heard as Eve died.

The warrior burst into woeful tears. "Just don't leave me. Please don't…"

==O==

The two women stood near Eve's funeral pyre as Xena sang her lament for the dead. Joxer held the baby just a few feet away.

Gabrielle wiped the tears from her face and motioned Joxer forward. She nudged him to turn and face Xena. With her eyes brimming with tears anew, the bard looked from the pyre down to the baby as Joxer held the child up towards her mother, "Xena, Eve can't die as long as this child lives."

Xena turned toward them, her face a blank mask, and the lack of tears on her face was striking.

The bard felt a shiver of fear pass through her as she looked into the warrior's cold blue eyes and observed only an echo of the old Xena shining there.

"I don't think it was Solan or Lao Ma who sent Eve back. It wouldn't have gone so wrong if it had been one of them. I've been racking my mind trying to think who might have done it. Eve said she never thought I could be taken so easily. You said it yourself, Gabrielle. I took on the whole Persian army. I heard a familiar bit of laughter when Eve died, that was Deimos. I think it was Ares' flunkies who sent her back somehow. Deimos may be working with Discord. They could have been acting on Ares' orders. No, he says he loves me or something. He wouldn't pull this elaborate ruse just to turn around and let her die. Deimos has always been the one with idiotic ideas. I'm not sure what's going on. Maybe Deimos and Discord were helping the other Gods, thinking they could upset me enough to make me fail. But I won't cradle another murdered child in my arms."

Xena sneered, "I don't know what, exactly, they were thinking, but I do know that I'm tired of being manipulated, tired of waiting, tired of reacting. It's time we paid a visit to the Fates. The Twilight of the Gods, it comes NOW."

FINIS

* * *

**Author's note:** This story ends just before the beginning of the episode "Looking Death in the Eye" and is meant to be almost IC. In the season five ending episode, "Motherhood," Xena kills several gods. Deimos is killed when Xena caused a platform to fall on him with her chakram. Discord is the second goddess to be killed during the twilight, when Xena decapitates her.


End file.
